day one hundred ten: as long as theres breath

im flying home to chicago tomorrow. i cant believe it. now that its time, i think im ready. this time spent in kenya has been great for processing, winding down, and just enjoying people. i am in a state of rest, ive accomplished all that i can, ive done my best, and i am completely satisfied. i know that what i have done here is not done by me, but is the work of God. and in that knowledge, i have comfort and strength.

i spent a few days at the coast, in mumbassa. i had planned on taking the trip just by myself, and using the time to reflect on all that has happened, really process through my time in africa, etc. i didnt have contacts there, i wasnt meeting anyone, and i was traveling alone. i didnt know where i would stay, what i would do, i didnt know anything. it was totally in God's hands- sort of a compressed, intensified version of what ive wanted for this whole time in africa- complete reliance on God.

it was incredible seeing God's provision for me, straight away off the bus. i arrived at 5:30 in the morning, and this guy came up and just started talking to me, asking me if i needed help, if he could show me around, whatever i needed. he was extremely nice, and helped me get my barrings. after that, it was one connection after another. i just kept running into people, getting into conversations, sharing a bit of my life, a bit of theirs. i had some time to just sit at the beach by myself and think about how great God is. and when i was exhausted and needed a place to rest, this girl came up to me and offered that i stay at her place with her and her two brothers. it was unheard of- they fed me, they let me rest at their house, they showed Christs love to me, a perfect stranger. finally, i got a phone call from a friend of a friend of a friend who heard i was in mumbassa and was wondering if i needed a place to sleep. so God even took care of my lodging. it was incredible, and i was left in awe of His provision, how He cares for each little detail. pretty humbling.

next i went to machakos. we have a project there, another childrens home. this one was recognized as one of the best in kenya. it was really cool spending time there, talking to the director, getting ideas of how the JCM project will run after it is finished. i loved being there, just playing with the kids, loving on them, serving in the kitchen, really however i could help. i learned to make chapati(best food ever), so ill for sure be trying that out when i get home. i stayed with a couple, professors from the local seminary there. that was such a blessing in itself, just being around them, dialoguing with them, sharing ideas and dreams. they are such people of God. when you spend time around people like that, no matter what you do during that time, you come away blessed. really just wonderful.

i got some great news on christmas regarding dennis. apparently ronnie found him on the streets a couple days before, and was able to take him down to the home in jinja! that was such an amazing feeling, knowing that he is safe and off the streets, that he has a place to belong, to call home. knowing that i can see him when he comes back! that he is gonna go to school and sleep in a bed at night! ah, it was so wonderful! when i heard that, i had such a sense of joy flood my heart. what an amazing christmas gift!

so now im back in nairobe after travelling around kenya. like i said, i fly tomorrow, and ive been using these last days trying to see everyone that has touched my life and say goodbye. its hard to think that ill be leaving, that after tomorrow night, i wont be seeing this place for a while. its my sincere hope to come back in may. irene will be returning then, and we are going to try and put together a team to come and finish the kids home. what an incredible day that will be!

these people, these relationships that i have made, they call me back. they always will. already i hear their voice. i will never be free of this place, it will haunt my thoughts and my heart as long as i have breath. i will hear their calling, and turn my eyes to where it comes. someday i will return. i wont forget you, street children, orphans, those abused and neglected. i wont forget you, family, friends, loved ones. i will return to tread your red soil beneath my feet once more. keep yourselves well until again we meet.

all my love

day one hundred: parting ways

wow. i cant believe its been one hundred days. looking back, i am amazed at all the time that has past. when i started, it seemed like four months was so long, like i would never reach the end of it. now that end is almost come, and im wondering what happened to all the days in between.

im back in kenya now. i arrived yesterday after traveling through the night. i didnt get much sleep, but its to be expected. i think i always have to be tired when i first get to kenya : ) its good being back. i am staying at the same house as before, but much has changed. theres only one other person here now, mary, as opposed to the multitude of family and life that busted forth from it at my last visit. its nice though, the smallness of it. itll be a lot of meetings one on one with people. im looking forward to that, to deepening the relationships ive started.

i didnt realize last time how huge nairobe is. i was just wandering around for an hour, trying to find the spot where we used to use internet. i dont know how, except that God helped me, but im here now. makes me miss tyler and irene. i hope theyre having fun in the cold!

ill be traveling to mumbassa, the coast, in a day or two. looking forward to some time to rest and reflect on all ive seen and experienced. sometimes, things happen so fast or so relentlessly, that i dont have time to pause and see how its effecting me. that self reflection, and being intentional in taking time to do it, has been so influential for me. im learning a lot about myself, about God, and about this world. not to mention that its been forever since ive been on a surf board : )

already i miss kampala. it was with a heavy heart that i said goodbye to friends and family- the people who made my time there so memorable. it was especially sad that i didnt get to say goodbye to my street kid friends. there has been a lot of football lately, and that usually equals empty streets. we went a couple of times my last few days, but no luck.

in regards to steven and dennis, im afraid thats a disappointing ending as well. i met a girl named sarah. she lives in jinja, and runs a kids home specifically for street kids. i figured that couldnt just be coincidence, so we went to pay her a visit. her home is great. there are fifteen former street kids in her care. they are all well fed, in school, and very happy. i could tell just from the feel of the place that it was a very happy and loving home. we spent the day with them, playing football and just hanging out.

that is exactly the kind of place i would love to get steven and dennis into. you cant just put street kids into a regular kids home/orphanage. most times, there is trouble with them running away and causing trouble, just not getting along well with the other kids. street kids are a different breed. they are used to complete freedom, not having any rules, doing whatever they want. sometimes, there are drug addictions to deal with as well.

any home that is going to care for street kids has to be special. they require so much individual attention. they need to feel loved, cared for, wanted. they need to be comfortable as well with the other people there. often, counseling services are needed. i could tell that sara's home would be so great to get the kids into. so we asked her

she was enthusiastic, but needed to check with her director back in canada (i dont remember what the NGO's called). he was enthusiastic as well, but wanted to make sure that the kids wanted to study- they had a kid run away about a year ago because he didnt want to be in school, it was heart breaking for them.

so we went out and found the kids, told them about the home, and what was expected if they were gonna live there, and they were both excited. so we agreed to meet monday morning to take them down to jinja, while we waited for final confirmation from the NGO director. after scrambling around and pushing, probably harder than i should have(keep in mind this is over a period of two or three days), we got final clearance and went monday to meet them.

but they were a no show. both of them. we rode up to the meeting place and our hearts dropped. we were a little late, but not late enough to have missed them. at least, i dont think so. i dont know what happened. its still a mystery to me. they werent on the streets when we went out to look, as i said, they ususally go for football if there is a match. so i havent seen them in about a week, and i have no idea what happened.

just before i left(my bus left at midnight) we went walking around, looking for them, hoping that id at least get to say goodbye, but no good.

though im so sad about this all, i know its gonna be fine. we got the green light from the kids home, so all thats left is finding steven and dennis. as long as they still want to go, we can get them there. ronnie will continue to look for them, and my hopes are with him. i think, maybe, it just wasnt meant for me to take them to the home. i dont need to be the one that finishes it. although i would love to have been able to, ive learned so much trust and patience through this.

please continue to join me in prayer for these two kids. it would a dream come true if we got them in a home before Christmas!

as for leaving, that was no easy task. i put if off for about a month, slowly saying my goodbyes and tying up loose ends over that period. still, when the day came and i was packing up, it was with a heavy heart. i almost burst into tears when i was holding eddy for the last time, just before he went to sleep. it reminded me of when we first got him, he would just sit on our laps at night until he fell asleep. now, as then, i am reminded what a blessing he is, how God is so merciful.

when i was packing, he told me that he wanted to come too, to wait for him. he said he could fit in one of the bags, that he would climb inside, and come with. man, that broke my heart. if he only knew how much i would love him to be able to come with. im not sure when ill be coming back. but i know i will, and soon. if for no other reason than to see him again. of course, there is so much more calling me back. i think itll be sooner rather than later.

well, its all wrapping up. i cant say i would trade a moment.


all my love

day eighty seven: food and stories

as my time here draws to an end, i find it more and more difficult to leave. any day now, i will be making the trek back to kenya. but as the day draws nearer, i find myself postponing it. for the last few weeks, whenever someone asks when im leaving, ill respond, "in a week or two." its been a week or two for three weeks now i think : ) theres just a lot still drawing me here, so much i still want to wrap up before i call it quits. and im in no rush to leave the people and places ive grown so attatched to these last months.

lately, it has been the street kids that have my heart. there are two in particular that weve become close to, dennis and stephen. every time i think im ready to go, their faces pain my heart. i want to be able to do more for them, something that will actually make a difference.

i realize that i have written very little about what we do with the street kids, but it is those late nights on the streets of kampala that have been my favorite times here. we dont do much, just a small meal and swapping of stories once or twice a week. we try and find out where the kids are from, how long theyve been there, if they have families. really, whatever they want to talk about. more often then not, i find myself talking about football clubs, since my limited Luganda prevents me from doing much else(btw, ive become an avid football fan). still these small encounters, and the faces and stories of these kids, have grabbed my heart over and over again.

as i said, there are two in particular that we see almost every time, dennis and stephen. dennis was among the first street kids i met. if you remember, there were three, and though we looked for the other two, dennis was the only to make continued appearances. i met him two months ago, which means he's not lived on the streets for five. its amazing what even two months can do, cause when i first met him, i thought that he was so new. now, five months seems like an eternity.

dennis is from jinja and he lived with his father and step mom. he was sent one day to get his hair cut at his dad's salon, but upon arriving he found the extra chair to be broken, and a long line of clients. he waited patiently all day, finally getting it cut around seven. since there was a football game(football is soccer) on at eight, he decided to go to it. upon returning home past ten, he found his parents irate, and fed up with him.

at this point, they told him to leave. just, go. they didnt care where, but they were sick of him. so they sent him away. and thats where he went, away. he started walking, and two days later, arrived in kampala to start his life as a street kid.

like so many of their stories, his is heartbreaking, and probably a mixed version of actual events and ones embellished on. we dont know the state of his home prior to his being kicked out. we dont know if his parents were abusive before. we dont know what is true, and what is shrouded. and none of it really matters. what we do know is that he wont go back, never wants to see them again, and harbours an anger at his parents from being abandoned that is not soon to pass.

dennis is an awesome kid, with an amazing smile. as i said, we see him every time we go, and i love it. his smile brightens my night, and i look forward to seeing him. i just gave him a pair of shoes that i brought to replace his stolen ones. he promised to tie them tight and get a sack to sleep in so no one steals these : )

we just met steven a month ago or so, maybe even less. he doesnt sleep where the other kids we know do, and is a bit of a wanderer. but almost every time, we run into him in one place or another. the first time i saw him, he was singing to no one on a street corner, eating a muffin. i faked taking a bite of the muffin to mess with him, and he responded with "yes, you take! 100 shillings!" after which he followed us for the rest of the night.

steven is from kitale, which is all the way in the south west of the country, an eternity from kampala. he is a true orphan- both his father and mother died, i think of HIV/AIDS(but im not sure). he spent some time living with an aunt of grandma, but it soon became aparent that they couldnt support him. as is the case in many families torn by HIV/AIDS, the buren that those it takes leave is too great for those it spares. he story is a little muddied as to the how, but he hopped a bus to kampala about a year ago, and has been there ever since.

steven is rediculous and eccentric. i have a video on my camera that ill post when i get back of him dancing. he's a little hesitent at first, but when he gets into it, theres no stopping him. he's so smart. he needed a sweatshirt on a cold night, so he went to owino(the huge market) and sang for the vendors, who paid him with a nice, warm sweater. i couldnt believe it when i saw him, he looked so sharp!

the day after thanksgiving there was a huge event called worship night. it is put on by the church i go to, they rent out a soccer stadium, and spend all night with whoever comes praising God. it was a powerful experience, relying on God for strength over twelve hours, and joining in praise to him with over 50,000 Ugandan brothers and sisters! the things i experienced and how God moved i can share another time, if you want. but, right in the middle of the night, at maybe two in the morning, i feel this tapping on my leg, and look down to see Stevens smiling face! i couldnt believe it! its incredible to think that he could have found me amongst a see of so many faces. we had a great time singing and dancing until he fell asleep, and i thanked God for bringing him into my life.

the short of the matter is this. these kids have alwas pulled my heart in a unique way, but that night God laid a special burden for them on me. im still trying to figure out what exactly that looks like, how exactly i can help, what i can do that is more than food and stories every once in a while. i want to do something lasting, something that will make a real difference. even if, for now, its just for the one or two that ive mentioned here. so i ask that you join me in prayer, beseeching the ear of the Almighty for guidance and imagination in this, and courage to undertake whatever He shows me. i am hesitant to leave without it.

before i sign off, let me share a few praises. last week, i had the opportunity to fellowship again with my friend irene, who i worked with in kenya. she had come to uganda with the purpose of attending the worship night, and catching up with some old friends. for the week she was here, we reconected and shared what God has been doing in our lives, and i thank God for the opportunity. she went back to kenya on saturday, a week early, because she received a call from the canadian embassy requesting her presence. she has been waiting to hear back about a canadian visa that would let her study there this coming semester. God is good, she got the visa, and is now finalizing plans! this after over two months of waiting, and beginning to think it wasnt happening. but God works all things in His timing. praise God!

the kids at mercy ministries(the kids home) are off to spend Christmas with relatives, most at least. but not before a final goodbye camp. monday and tuesday this week they spent at a beach in entebbe. i joined them along with the volunteers at Come Lets Dance on tuesday for an awesome day of surf and sun and soccer, and a great farewell to kids who have touched my heart with their unconditional love, bright eyes, and clinging hands. there was even a baptism, Christmas gifts handed out by none other than pastor wilson bugembe, and an adventure with a pair of camels to boot! ill maybe write more on that later. if i remember to.

eddy is doing better than ever. it seems like every day he gets stronger, braver, more confident. he is trying new things, making so many friends, and learning not to be a cry baby : ) im amazed at what God has done, transforming this little pile of skin and bones, on the verge of starvation, into the happy, healthy little boy i see with my own two eyes every day. sometimes, i double take when i see him. he's got a fatty little belly, an unending smile, and he just started giving me kisses. can i say it enough? God is good!!!


waiting on Him
jon

a testimony of thanks

today is thanksgiving, and although its an american holiday, and they dont celebrate it here, i was able to have an amazing dinner with my friends over at Come Lets Dance. they prepared an incredible american style thanksgiving dinner, turkey and all, and we all shared in it together, about twenty five of us, westerners and ugandans, and a kenyan, all around the same table. it was a beautiful picture of the body of Christ, united despite where we come from, our cultures and differences, together because of the love of God. and a good time to reflect on my time here, and what i am thankful for. so this year, here is my testimony of thanks.

i am thankful to God for my friends and family and community. He has blessed me beyond what i could ever ask for, and taught me so much about what it means to be the body of Christ. i eagerly await the day when i will return home and be reunited with my loved ones back home.

at the same time, i give thanks to God for my friends and family and community here, across the world. He has blessed me so much, and as i look around me, i count myself rich. who am i to deserve these wonderful people i count as family, brothers and sisters, friends and fellow sojourners. though i have just met them, and at most have been in fellowship a few months, i am knit together with them, soul to soul.

that is the power of Christ. that is the power of love. that, though strangers, we are bound together, and celebrate as brothers the redeeming and freeing work of Jesus.

after i finish this post, we are heading out to the streets of kampala to minister to the kids who live there. God has blessed our ministry with them, and we have been able to build some really encouraging relationships. at times, it is frustrating that we cant do more, but for now, we can rejoice in God's provision and the doors He has opened.

so off we go, back to the streets. and to be honest, there is no other place i would rather spend my thanksgiving. with these kids, who have nothing, we can at least give them a reason to be thankful, a reason to hope. but not us, Christ in us. may He shine ever brighter. may He remind us daily of all we have been forgiven, from all we have been set free. He gives us beauty for ashes, He gives freedom to captives. and we were all slaves once.

happy thanksgiving
jon

day seventy eight: island hopping

as my time in uganda is coming to an end, i thought it appropriate to take a little brake from the day to day life. too much, even of a good thing, is wearing. and so this weekend, a short vacation.

there is a small group of islands off the southern coast of uganda in lake victoria called the Ssese islands. apart from boasting the best beaches in uganda(which isnt hard) ronnie used to live and work on one of the islands, so still has many friends and family on it. so it was pack the bags and hit the road this last friday for ronnie and i.

the first two days we spent on the major island- just a three hour ferry trip from the mainland. i love the water, and it was great to be on it again. nothing quite beats watching the sun sink to be swallowed by lake victoria while speeding along with the wind in your face to a place youve never been. for me, thats a picture no camera can capture, one that will live only in the mind, and the memory.

so we found a cheap hotel up off the beaten path. the large island is crawling with resorts and tourists. but we did well to avoid the expensive beachside cabins and tourist traps. still, we took advantage of them. and posing as a rich tourist, we made our way through the resort beaches, just "taking a look around" and "seeing what they have to offer." otherwise translated as trespassing on private beaches : ). good enough for a few hours and a bit of a sunburn- my first in africa. all in all, it was a much needed time of relaxation and enjoying each others company. we took in a few football games, a few sunsets, and spent some time talking to the local fishermen, watching them work.

sunday, we headed off to a much smaller island, far from anything you could call touristy. i dont think there was one hotel on the whole island. but, after some time on a fishing boat, paddeling our way through the wetlands, we arrived to a warm welcome from some of ronnies long lost friends. we rented a motorcycle for self drive and went off exploring the island- riding through fields and fields of pineapple, sugar cane, and other crops, mostly ronnie showing me the sights, visiting his old haunts, and catching up with family.

the motorcycle was an adventure in itself. it had seen better days. something with the choke was messed up, so you had to pull on a wire the whole time driving to prevent it from stalling out. during one particularly long climb, it even overheated and gave up on us! but, God was with us, and we were able to coast down to the bottom, and to safety. and while leaving, we were given a pineapple, fresh from the island(pineapples are the main cash crop there). we broke it open on the fishing boat and ate it on the trip back to the mainland. hands down, without a doubt, the best single peice of fruit i have ever tasted. ever. i am afraid of taking fruit again, for fear that it will forever taint my memory of the perfect pineapple. it was beyond words.

the trip was good, and without knowing it, much needed. somewhere in the day to day routine, some things get lost. i found myself thinking too much of ministry, putting too much of a stress on it. i think that, in my mind, ronnie and i were becoming partners, like in a business sence. we work together, and are friends because of it-as in, work has brought us together. but this trip helped to reorganize my priorities. it put us back in the right order, where we are friends frist, and can serve God together only out of that bond.

i am learning, God doesnt work like a business. we arent united because of a goal, or work, or what we do. we are brought together because of who we are, and moreover, who God is in us. we are united in love. without love, we have nothing. we strive, and are destined to fail. if it is not love in us and through us, binding us together, spuring us onward, it is not of God. because God is love, and it is by love, because of it, that the world will know us. we might as well be any other NGO or non profit, merely doing a good work. it is that love that seperates us, sets us apart, lets us proclaim Him with our whole lives.

may i learn to walk more fully in Christ and in love, and come to know that they are one in the same.


together in Him
jon

day sixty six: back from the source of the nile

ah, a week past and it feels good to curl up beneath my city's sky at night. the familiar sights and sounds flood my senses like nostalgia, and leave me feeling warm. ive spent a week away, just a few hours west, in jinja. and though in truth it is so close, it is another world over there.

this was my second time in jinja. if you remember, a few months ago, tyler and i stopped over for a few days on our journey from kenya. as the time before, this was one of much needed refreshement. it is amazing how a simple change of pace for a short time can reawaken your mind to the true value of things. my time away made me appreciate so much more, the relationships i have here.

i think i just have a tendency to take God's goodness for granted. i wish it wasnt so, but i am grateful that He also sees it fit to re-open my eyes to the world around me every once in a while. i got back in the afternoon yesterday, and was expecting to arrive to a full house. instead, it was quiet. so i set down my things, and took a seat, a bit disappointed.

but then in the door walks eddie, all in new clothes, with this little smile on his face(and i promise now i wont spend the whole time talking about eddie, though i suspect hes grown in the week ive been gone) and he quick-walks on over to me to be scooped up. i just held him and played with him, talking back and forth with my broken Lugandan, for an hour or two. and it was so awesome. and even now, i feel so blessed, beyond what i could ask or hope for.

i spent my time away in a small town called masese, just outside of jinja, with an organization called Serving His Children. SHC is bacially started and run by a twenty year old girl named Renee Bach. She has been in Uganda off an on for long periods of time since she was eighteen, serving with Light Gives Heat, Amani Childrens Home, and now, her own NGO- Serving His Children. She is a really great girl, who has completely let the Ugandan people capture her heart, and completely surrendered her life to God, for Him to use it as He will.

Renee, along with any volunteers on hand at the time, rents a house in masese, which is one of, if not the, poorest areas in/around jinja. it is basically a slum. from that house, she runs a bi weekly feeding ministry, open to any children who come. it serves upwards of one thousand kids, i think. i didnt ask, but i heard some numbers thrown around, and from what i saw, it had to be at least a thousand. also, she runs a small clinic from out of her kitchen. again, it is free to anyone who comes knocking at the door. obviously, services are limited, but she provides medicine and advice to all whom she can help, or else sends them to a nearby clinic. for special cases, she will arrange to take them to the main hospital in entebbe.

as if those two werent enough, and there were infinite hours in the day, she takes in severly sick/malnourished kids, and over a course of time, nurses them back to health. many of these kids have been failed by the overcrowed, understaffed hospitals, many of their families dont have the means to care for them, and many live with HIV/AIDS. while it is not a permanent solution, it has made a world of difference for these kids, and they will return to their families(if applicable) with a much better chance of living a happy, healthy life.

most of my time in jinja, i spent lending an extra set of hands around the many projects at the SHC home. there was never a quiet moment, and i loved it. some of you know that my heart is in medicine, and eventually i want to study for a degree in it. so this was just perfect, and reminded me a lot of my time spent in the Dominican Republic. as i said before, rest and refreshment doesnt always have to look like relaxation. oftern, it can be as simple as a change of pace.

i did get to spend some time on my own. i took a day and visited old friends at the Light Gives Heat house. we went and paid some visits to the Suubi ladies, and i made my first paper bead necklace! then, as the day drew on, and everyone had places to be, i made my way alone to a quiet cafe off the main street in jinja, and had the best iced americano ive had in months! it was heaven. seriously. that glass held all the relaxation i needed : ) that night was back at the LGH house, spending some more time with friends till the wee hours.

one downside is, i got sick for the first time in Africa! i think its been building up, waiting for a good time to strike. and strike it did, with a vengeance. i had pretty much every symptom way bad for a twenty four hour period. after which, most died off, and im now reduced to a normal stomach bug, though i still feel dizzy when im move to fast. not quite sure what it is, although i got a malaria test when i was still at the clinic. negative. im getting better though. i popped some pills yesterday that should kill anything going on in my stomach that shouldnt. no trouble yet, just a little continued uneasiness. we'll see though. it was bound to happen sooner or later, im actually surprised it took so long!

my time here is winding down. i realized a few weeks ago that the halfway point has passed, now it feels like ive got not time at all. yep, before i know it, ill be back in snowy, freezing, chicago. im kinda torn about it : )


with the world, in His hands
jon

day sixty: grace and redemption

i am convinced that a child's smile is one of the most redeeming things on earth. when God made us, He put more of Himself in this majical expression of joy, and saved it, only giving it to us when we are young. you can be having the worst day, and everything can be turned upside down when a kid bestows this gift on you. its like, your heart remembers what love is, what joy is, and you live in that moment for the rest of the day.

i never knew that joy until eddy. maybe its because i have invested so much of myself into him, that when i see him happy, it makes all the difference in the world. in truth, i dont know why, but it lifts my heart heavenward.

its amazing what a few short weeks can do, the difference that can be seen in them. ive already written about the state eddy was in at first. sick with way too heavy a burden for anyone, let alone a child, malnourished to the point of starvation, unresponsive, uncaring, just taking each day as it comes, waiting for death.

three days after, the light in his eyes was returning. i heard the sound of his voice for the first time- its so sweet. i still smile every time i hear it. i got my first glimpse of a smile, heard the first fragments of a laugh. two weeks later, eddy is a different person. if he isnt babling away about something, shuffeling around, or sitting contentidly with a smile across his face, you know something is wrong. no longer does he just sit and wait. he is not content with being ignored. and if he is feeling it, you know it : )

he is becoming more confident in himself. if ronnie, mom, or myself, are around, he will tell us when he needs anything. i love when he asks me for anything, even if i dont always understand him, and if at all i can, i love getting him what he asks. sometimes, im worried we are spoiling him, and we probably are, but after four years of neglect and witholding of love, i think a little excess is in order.

when ronnie or i come home, he comes running to us from wherever he is, or at least, as shuffling along as quickly as he can. its adorable. and theres nothing better than scooping him up and while he laughs gleefully.

he is still shy around strangers, but he's getting better. we are working at acclimating him, building his confidence in social situations. we bring him to the kids home once or twice a week, though hes still scared of them. who wouldnt be, when you are the size of a toddler, and dozens of kids are towering over you, running every which way? he is becoming fond of the neighbors as well. and when we walk down the road with him, he loves to point out all the different things he knows the names of, while waving to the shouts of all the kids, muzungu, muzungu! (they are calling to me, and muzungu means white person, but he waves anyway)

i think im getting carried away, and im sure most of you have lost interest by now, but what i want to say is this. this kid is a daily reminder of Gods grace, and is teaching me more and more how He loves us, His children. each day that eddy lives, he gets stronger. every breath he takes, every time he laughs, every step he makes, is evidence of God's healing presence in his life. and its a beautiful picture of how He has saved us, brings us to Himself, makes us stronger every day.

apart from that, im going to jinja this next week. ill be working with a girl named renee, who is running a ministry out there, doing a biweekly feeding ministry and also taking in kids, nursing them back to health. i have a few other contacts out there that im looking forward to getting in touch with as well. it should be a good experience, seeing God's hand in another place, with other people.

there is a lot more i would love to say. i waited too long since my last update, and now i dont know where to start. so instead, i just said what was on my heart, and thats eddy. maybe ill be able to do another of these soon. God is working mightily here, and i feel privledged to be a witness to it.

one last thing. we took eddy and charles for HIV/AIDS testing on monday. after a long day of anxious waiting, we got the results that they are both negative(which means aids free)! God is good!

in His arms

jon

day forty eight: introductions

phew. well, way too much has happened since last time. and, as a familiar story, i dont really have the time to write. but im gonna do my best in the fifteen or so minuets i have.

we had heard sometime last week that there was a child in the next town over who was being abused. one of ronnies friends lives next door to the kid. we tried for a few days unsuccessfully to meet with him, but things kept getting in the way(with the friend, not the child). finally, on friday, we got our chance.

sitting in the room of ronnies friend, we were brought a little stick of a child, whos name we learned, is eddie. eddie is four, but he is not like other four year olds ive met. see, the day we met eddie, he came shuffeling in to the sitting room, being held up by our friend. he couldnt much walk by himself, not because theres anything wrong with his legs, but because he has been literally starved half to death.

i picked up eddie into my lap, him wearing a shirt several sizes too small and covered in dirt, no clothes to speak of on his lower half, and i just held him for a while as we talked about what to do. i listened to his labored breathing, felt his little heart struggling to bring blood and life into his body, rested his tired head against my chest, so that he didnt have to fight to keep it up. and somewhere in there, my heart broke.

we had to leave soon, and sent eddie back home. for the rest of the day, i felt ill inside, like something had died in me. ive been exposed to a lot of poverty and suffering, not just here, but at many times in my life. its coming to the point where it doesnt really surprise me anymore. its sad to say, hard to admit, but true. for so many people in this world, poverty is a way of life. and that doesnt make it ok by any means. but, to some measure, ive gotten calloused to it. i suppose its good in some ways- without that thick skin, seeing these things day after day would destroy a person.

anyway, tolerance or not, this was completely different. i dont know if ive ever held someone so sick, so frail, so on the edge of life. he was absolutly helpless, unable to care for himself, and basically abandoned by his parents. he was living with his dad and step mom, but they are poor, have other children, and in the end, must just not care enough.

we went back the next day, saturday, to talk to his father. we were able to work it out that we would be given eddie to care for him. praise God. and thats where we are now. three days later, two doctor visits down, and a new addition to the family.

when we got him, his belly was so big. but not because he had eaten, rather, because he hadnt. youve all seen pictures of kids who are dying of starvation, their limbs are stick thin, but their stomachs round and bloated. thats because stomach acid is wearing away at the stomach lining-theres nothing for it to digest, so its digesting itself. the acid causes fumes and gasses to build up, in turn swealling the abdomin to rediclous measures. that was eddie. sticks for limbs, bloated belly, hardly able to keep his head up.

the doctor says he had malaria, anemia, worms/parasites, developmental retardation, and severe malnutrition. and thats just what we know about it. were getting more tests done soon so we can continue to treat him. he is in the middle of a malaria course, we are giving him worm pills, and supplementing his diet(and making sure he eats) to deal with the rest.

after only three days, his stomach swelling has gone down drastically, there is noticibly improved blood circulation, and more red blood cells in his blood, he is more responsie, happy, and healthy. at first, it was hard to know if he even understood what we were saying, let alone if he could communicate. but this morning i was woken up by a conversation between him and charles. i couldnt believe it was him. i had to get out of bed and see for myself : )

we saw his first smile yesterday, and heard his first laugh today. he is recovering by leaps and bounds, and i can do nothing but praise God. each time i look at him, i am reminded of God's grace-in his life and ours. it is a blessing, and i count myself lucky beyond measure to have a part in eddies life. he is a constant reminder of God's provision, that each day we live, every breath we take, is because of Him. praise God, who works all things to His glory, who holds our lives in the palm of His hand, who loves us without end.

we (ronnie, myself, and mom) will be taking care of eddie for a while, at least till i leave, maybe after that. our plan/hope after that, is to find a family who will take him in, and give him the love and care that he needs, and deserves. when he is well enough, we'll be sending him to school. he's of the age already, but unable to attend because of his ailments. we are looking for a family even now. be praying for God's continued grace, that eddie would recover fully, and live a healthy life, and God would be present in every bit of it. pray for wisdom for us as we wrestle through decisions, and for a family to come into eddies life. pray that we would serve in His strength, and give freely of what weve been given, and that He would be glorified in everything we do.

in Him who lives and saves
jon

day thirty nine: seeds

for those with enough interest to keep reading these, let me say thank you. i count myself quite blessed to have friends and family back home willing to take some time from their lives and get an update on mine. so again, thank you. it means a lot to me to read your comments, even though i dont usually respond. and apart from that, it means a lot to know that you care.

this week has been interesting. i feel like things are finally starting to build some momentum. a lot of my time here has been spent waiting on God, seeking Him and His will for my time here and my life in general. its been really rewarding. i feel like here, in this place, i am rid of many of the distractions of life back home, and i am more able to hear, or at least more intune with, God's whispering.

so, what do i mean by momentum building this week. i came to this place with a desire to serve. if i can do anything during my stay in africa, i would that my hands and feet be used for Gods will, in whatever way that is. there have been times of frustration in discerning His will, who to serve, and finding those people. there have been times of humbling as i realize more fully my role in everything. there have been times of doubt as my own plans and desires are overshadowed or pushed aside. but through it all, God's hand is moving.

with all that said, there are a few things i would like to share with you. the first is an experience i had the other night. once again, ronnie and i braved the kampala night life to search for street kids. if you remember, we went just before tyler left, with no luck. after walking around for an hour and a half, this looked like it would end up the same. the whole time, ronnie and i were hypothesizing why this sudden lack of kids, attributing it to government, aid organizations, even child traffickers. disheartend, we made our way to the taxi park to look for a ride home.

standing there, in the middle of the bustleing market place that the old taxi park is, we had just about given up. the words, "lets go home" were dancing on the tip of my tongue. we made small talk, seemingly prolonging the inevitable. and as a consensus to leave was reached in our heads, i turned around. sitting on the ground, not five feet behind us, was a group of three boys, collecting cardboard to sleep on.

disbelieving, i nudged ronnie. together, we made our way up to them, got their names and their stories, and bought them a bit of food to fill their stomachs for the night. their names were dennis, ronnie, and (insert some difficult ugandan name). they were between 10 and 13, and had been on the streets between three months and a year. ill spend more time in the next update telling their stories and the specifics. but here, i wanted to stress God's provision and His timing.

when we had reached the end of our wills, God stepped in. its only through His workings that we met these kids. its only by His hand that we can do anything. we are going back on tuesday to see them again and meet some of their friends. im excited to see what God brings through these small relationships!

the second thing i wanted to share is a request. after this, ill wrap it up. theres a girl about my age in the neighborhood, one of ronnies friends, dora. she finds stories of kids who's parents have died, or just dont have the means to take care of them. she either takes them in to care for them, or finds some way to help them out with school tuition. right now, she has at least twelve kids that she is supporting in some way. everything she earns from her job goes to support these kids. i dont know how she can even do it.

please pray for her, and for God's continued provision in her life. may He continue to show Himself faithful, may her cup overflow. yesterday, i visited her at her house and met some of the kids she supports. it breaks my heart that theyve lost so much, and have to continue to struggle through this life. though they may not be on the street, their stories are just as heartbreaking, just as injust and frustrating. pray for these kids, pray for dora, for ronnie and myself, as we try and figure out a way to come along side and support these precious children as they strive for an education and dignity in life.

i praise God that He is revealing, little by little, people and places for me to serve. as these seeds take root and grow, as these relationships develop and are flushed out, please continue to pray for me, that i would rely on Christ alone, that i would seek Him above all, and that He would be glorified in my life.


grace and peace
jon

day thirty four: back from the bush

so, after nearly a week, i have returned to the smog and electricity of kampala. i cant tell you how happy i was to walk through the door of my house last night. when ronnie walked to the door and greeted me with a big hug and a welcome home, i couldnt shake the smile from my face. my time away was enjoyable enough, but ive really come to value and appreciate my home here in kampala. and i love that i can call it a home.

it took longer to get to the village than i had thought. but first, in case i havent explained, allow me to. i just took a trip to visit the village of a friend here, Julius. although Julius couldnt come with, his brother took me under his wing and showed me around, introducing me to new things and village life, accustoming me to life without electricity.

this village was much more spread out than i had anticipated. small groups of housing compounds, denoting families, tucked away in the shadow of a valley, nestled in the middle of miles and miles of banana plantation. i dont know how to get my pictures on this computer, or even if i can get them on this site, or else i would show you.

these villages are farming villages. as i said, miles and miles of bananas. i was expecting something more close knit- that where the people and homes are all close together, relying on each other, sharing their lives etc. ive missed that feeling ever since my time last year in the Dominican Republic. but as i said, they were more spread out, although the whole of the family would gather at one house for dinner every night. they speak a different language out west there, so even the little lugandan ive picked up didnt help me much : )

warren(julius's brother) was the only one with a good grasp of english, besides the children who were mostly to shy to talk to me. though they did give me enough inquisitive eyes and shy smiles to last a while. warren showed me around well enough, explaining the different types of banana's and showing me the cattle and landscape. we spend an entire day walking up and around the mountain that makes up one wall of the valley the village is in(does that make sense?). the top of this mountain is higher than the others in the area. and from atop it, we had a commanding view of western uganda, as well as rwanda and tanzania, all in one sweeping panoramic. its beautiful out here, so many greens and rolling hills.

the stars are another matter all together. they come out with a fury, puncturing the blackness of the night. its hard to do anything but worship under such a canopy, and i was sure to drink my fill of it while i could. the great thing about having no electricity, is certainly the night sky. weve forgotten its magesty, and chased it away with our own smaller imitations. ill tell you here, in case youve forgotten or never seen- the milky way strewn across the sky is awe inspiring, like a blanket for the earth. these sights made my nights. and to top it off, the children in our compound would gather together after dinner, and sing songs together until their throats were soar. its quite a feeling to hear these kids, singing simple songs we learned in sunday school, at the top of their lungs. and you cant help but let a smile take over your face.

before we left, warren got news that a good friend's dad had passed away in a village close by. we made the trip to pay our final resqects. the service was much like one we would have, only with many more people, and a lot longer. it seemed like everyone wanted a chance to say their peace. and any people of importance were recognized, again, and again, and again. im sure it was a beautiful service, but i dont know. none of it was in english.

afterwards, they laid the body to rest, and everyone joined in celebration of his life. the tradition here is to feed all the guests the night before, and the whole day of the funeral. i really enjoyed this tradition. its cool to see life celebrated this way. and it went on all through the night. tradition also dictates that a fire is made the night before, and the guests stay up that night around it, telling stories about the deceased. this is carried on or two nights, though usually only the older generation stay the whole night. i joined the camp fire, not understanding but appreciating the custom and remenisence of this man's life.

life here can seem cheap at times. death is often quick, unexpected, and pointless. it is not uncommon to see a man strewn at the side of the road, the victim of a speeding motorcycle or taxi. these deaths are violent, and birth some anger in me. why is life held so loosley here? is nothing sacred that you can be so careless? it was good then, for me to see the funeral. as i said, it was very long, many people wishing to say their peace. the ceremony went on for hours, and the related events, for literal days. its good to see that life, and death, is still valuable. it is still sacred. there are family and friends of each person, ties that bind us all together. even if a passing motorist doesnt care to slow down.

all my love
jon

day twenty seven: comings and goings

i want you all to know before i begin, this keyboard is very sticky. and its making it hard to type. so please, if you would, in your heart of hearts, feel sorry for me, in this trying circumstance : )

in other news, tyler left yesterday morning. ronnie and i accompanied him to entebbe at six in the morning, and i think he just left london today. what a terrible layover. however, his absence means i am now living exclusively with ugandans. im sure this will be good. i am appreciating the fact that i now have to rely on locals for all relationship and community. i know that this will be good for me, focing me furthur into intimacy with friends here.

im glad to no longer have a crutch, that now i will have to seek out opportunities and people to serve with and whom to serve. and though it will be harder, it will be better. ill miss tyler a good deal, and i greatly appreciated the time we spent here. but im also learning to appreciate trials and hard times as gifts from God to grow me and make me who He needs me to be.

on saturday night, tyler, ronnie, and i made our way to the streets of kampala looking for street kids. after passing these kids in town day in and day out, it just isnt enough to toss them a spare shilling note or buy a meal for an anonymous face. we wanted to spend some time with them, hearing their stories, learning from them, sharing a meal together. we believe that it is through small acts of kindness such as this, the willingness to share your life, that the love of Christ is shown. its something that theyve done before, and i have interest in. on top of that, tyler wanted to go before he left uganda and see some of the friends he had made. we walked around for a few hours, visiting the spots that they had been successful before, but without luck.

soon, ill be going back with ronnie. pray that we can meet some kids and be Christ to them.

a year or so ago, on a previous such trip, tyler and ronnie met a boy named charles. charles was living on the street after having been kicked out of a childrens home because he has relatives, even though they cant afford to take care of him- which is why he was on the street to begin with. he has had a very hard life that i may get into in another post. suffice to say that he's lived on the streets, begging, been abused by an older man, lost his parents, and been abandoned by a kids home-the very people who are supposed to help kids like him.

anyway, tyler and ronnie met him, and he wouldnt leave their side. he stayed with them the whole night, and they listened to his story. they were drawn to him, and continued to see him here and there. although they werent able to do much for him that first night, eventually, through a lot of difficulties, tyler now is able to sponsor him, and he attends one of the best boarding schools in kampala. we visited him on sunday for parent teacher conferances(three guys in their twenties, two from america, were his "parents"). he's doing really well in school, working hard. we got a chance to hear from his teacher, and after, we took him out to lunch. it was awesome seeing his smiling face, hearing that story of hope, and seeing that change can happen.

i believe it is when we are connected to people through relationships and an open heart, that true change can occure. this is just one of the many stories ive heard and witnessed since ive been here. these are the kind of connections im here to make. this is how we can be the hands and feet, the body and blood of Christ.

ill be going out into the bush tomorrow, visiting the village and family of a friend, julius. ill be out there for a few days to a week, depending. this will be my first trip into the bush- what we usually think of when we think africa. im excited. ill update when i can.

i covet your prayers.

all my love
jon

day nineteen: reflections and hopes

so here we go. ive been on the move lately. new city, new country, new language. i left nairobe early early wednessday morning. the sun started rising on the way into town. my first african sunrise, and the start of something new. the roads are sleepy so early, a far sight from the usual shouts of matatu drivers and the weaving in and out of the bodas. not so much deisel fumes to breath it. somehow nice.

i spent my last few days in kenya taking it easy. we had taken care of everything we could in terms of construction, now all that was left was saying goodbye. it was bitter sweet for me. even though i had only been there for two weeks, i know ill miss the people i met there. they were so warm and open with me, opening their homes, sharing their food, their lives. for me at least, i know ill see them again before i leave. my flight home is out of nairobe. ill probably spend christmas with my kenyan friends. i look forward to seeing them again, and seeing the completed roof on the childrens home. its awe inspiring to see all that God has done on that plot of land in just over a month, four to five months sooner than we had even hoped for. God is good, and works in far grander ways than we dare dream.

the bus ride to uganda was long, a minimum of 12 hours to kampala. we planned to stop in jinja for the night, as i have connections there, and its only 10 hours (yeah right, only 10 hours). the day started out alright, although it reminded me a bit too much of my 24 hour day of travelling, just two weeks prior. only three hours in, we were stopped at a police checkpoint, which actually isnt unusual. there is a lot of corruption here, and the cops will stop most larger vehicles, make up some bogus claim, and wait for a bribe. we had already been stopped two other times, like i said, not unusual. what made this particular stop bad, was that they came on board, and pulled off four pasangers for not having their seatbelts on. tyler and i didnt have ours on either, but i guess we were lucky, or else, used our skin power ; )

all in all, we waited for three hours for the four guys to get money to pay the ticket ( a trumped up charge from 500 shillings to 3000 shillings). other than that, the ride was pretty smooth. i saw some wildlife along the side of the road: baboons, zebra, antelope, and warthog. zebra are so beautiful in person. it was like a little mini safari. pretty awesome.

we finally arrived in jinja and took some motorcycles to the Ligh Gives Heat house. Light Gives Heat is the organization that put us up for a few days. i have volunteered with them for some festivals back in the states, and was planning on spending a while with them out here, although God changed my plans. jinja is cool because its where the source of the nile is, there are a stretch of waterfall/rapids, and a variety of adrenaline sports to have your fill. tyler and i found a guy who would take us in kayaks over the rapids for half of what anyone else was charging, so we took him up on it. along with a few of the LGH volunteers, i learned to kayak, somewhat, and paddled my little raft through the rapids....somewhat. awesome experience nonetheless.

the time in jinja was very refreshing and much needed. a nice break for tyler before he goes home in a week. finally, on friday, we arrived in kampala. we are staying at a friends house, ronnie, with his "mom". im glad that ill be living with ugandans. like i said, its a totally new language, and his mom only speaks lugandan. but, that will help me to adjust to it faster, learn the culture and the city, and all that goes with it.

im very excited about being in kampala. where kenya was slow, focused on a goal, and ver quickly, uganda will be non of those things. my aim here is service. it will take many forms, span many people, and may last the rest of my three plus months here. i just dont know, its completely open to the people and opportunities God brings into my path.

i am excited because what i have heard from tyler and seen for myself in my few days here points me to believe that this is exactly the place which will allow me serve as i hope to. there is a kids home down the road from us, a legit non profit(come lets dance) doign many of the thnis God has lain on myheart over the past few months, and a stron church community to link it all together. on top of that, it seems like every way i turn, there are ngo's and non profits helping this person or that person. i know God is going to open some pretty awesome doors for service here. i cant wait to see what they are.

for now though, i will continue as i have; building relationships, investing in people, and stepping through the doors God opens, serving as His hands as best i can along the way.

phew, that was a long one. thanks for reading.


in His hands
jon

day eleven: grace and longing

im already wrapping up my time in kenya, at least for now. i will have been here for two weeks exactly, and then, off to uganda. that means, come wednessday, tyler and i are embarking on the long, arduous journey to uganda.

i have really enjoyed my time here. hopefully you can tell that by the stories ive told, but maybe not. this place has quickly become comfortable here, i feel that i have begun to sink into my skin. im using that expression as a good thing, again, maybe you couldnt tell : ). the people here have been great, especially tyler and irene. i have spent just about every day with them, and although we are leaving irene for a while, i feel like we have made a lasting connection. i look forward to the time when i come back here and meet with her again.

this was a great place for me to start my journey. and although it really started weeks ago with prayer and planning, physically, my short time here has been invaluable. most of our time in kenya has centered around construction, whether buying materials, balancing accounts, or running around looking for rules and regulations to abide by, and the occasional manual labor to boot. things are slowing down now, soon the building will be complete, at least as far as our funds will take us. the whole time here has felt slow, but it has been good for me. maybe i expected a wave of opportunity the moment i stepped off the plane, but the time ive had here to settle in to everything has left me a lot more prepared than i would have been.

i am learning more and more to listen- to people, to God, to myself. i am learning to take the time and be still, to wait for direction and not proceed head first into uncertainty. i am learning, slowly by slowly, but learning.

yesterday, tyler and i rented two bodas (motorcycles) for the day. we took our friends irene and damareise to mount Ngong, about two and a half hours away. it was a great day of resting, reflection, and just spending time as friends, all work aside. God really protected us, as neither tyler or i are very experienced at driving, but we made it there and back unharmed, through some pretty rough climbs. friday, we bought the timber for the roof, that will start on monday. all that is left now is the tin slabs that will go over the wooden frame. we are hoping that construction will be finished in less that two weeks- perfect timing as the rains are about to come.

unfortunately, tyler is going to leave before he can see the finished building, or, as i specified before, finished to this point. ill be in uganda when it is finished, but ill be able to come back, and i plan to, some time in november. if you want to read about the childrens home we are building, and its construction, from start to finish, check out tyler's blog and the childrens home website at kjcm.org. ill leave you with that. thank you for your thoughts and/or prayers. you are a blessing to me. also, let me apologize to those who comment on these, i dont have the time to respond, as i am kept pretty busy with writing and updating, but know that i read them all, and they encourage me and warm my heart. my thoughts and prayers are with you as well

grace and longing
jon

day five: dust and thirst

i guess you could call this my first impressions, although this is my fifth full day here. its amazing to think its almost been a week already, the days seem to be flying by. there is always something to do here, always an errand to run, or an opportunity to catch (also called a matatu). on top of the everyday business, jetlag is still kicking my butt. i think ive fallen asleep on every bus weve taken thus far. my favorite was being woken by a kenyan man behind me shaking the brim of my hat, while he and the others sitting around me laughed, quietly amused.

this morning, irene and i moved a pile of bricks from one side of the construction zone to their permanent home on the other. doesnt sound like much, but just as the nights here are cold, the days here can be pretty scourching. we succeeded in moving half of one of four piles. maybe two hundred bricks. i guess we'll have another go tomorrow.

saturday, we hired a truck and a driver and went through kamba land to buy more bricks. there is more required to finish the walls of the childrens home, and then we will have more for future projects. the brick place is a good 70 kilometers away. i dont know how many miles that is, but it was at least three hours away. as you could imagine, i slept for much of it : ). but cramming into a truck cab with six people, sitting crosslegged isnt much fun, and i was mostly numb by the time we got there.

the bricks we are using are made from the earth here. they are a mixture of sand, clay, and a firing process that makes them suitable for building with. we bought 4000 or so, and it took most of the day to load them. btw, we werent swinging the bricks, although tyler and i had come expecting to. a crew of kenyans were more than eager to work, and there were enough that we probably would have just gotten in the way.

kamba land looks like a desert, just sand and dust as far as the eye can see, like something out of an apocalyptic movie. while the truck was being loaded, we took a boda(motorcycle) to the top of the mountain and hiked out to a plateue overlooking kenya, a great stretching landscape, all dust and ashes. it was quite an awe inspiring sight. it is said that the mountains in this part of the world are the oldest anywhere. i believe it. things here have a feeling like a pendulum, they have been going on forever, and will continue in their own way. any change here will happen slowly, with great patience, like a grain of grass that lies dormant until it has enough strenghth to sprout.

there is a drought here, in more ways than one. it hasnt rained in months. but you still see the small stream trickling against all odds. still, the storm brews over head, even if the rain hasnt come. they called this the dark continent for a reason. in many places, there is a tangeable presence of evil. but still, love shines through. things are changing. there is hope, and revival, and song. but this land thirsts. God, let it rain.

grace and peace
jon

day one: safe arrival and such

after two days sitting on my butt, staring at the back of an airplane seat, i finally arrived in nairobe! i cant describe how freeing it was to walk out of the gate into the beautiful kenyan night. tyler was waiting outside, along with three others, irene, dama ris, and zach, all kenyans. all people i am very excited to share my life with.

flying was pretty uneventful. i forced myself to stay awake so i could try to conquer jet lag when i got here. i am eight hours ahead of you all, and that wont be easy. slept for a solid 10 last, night, but i woke up and was so disoriented, i could barely walk : ). good times.

we are taking today off so i can get accustomed to the culture and the people and what not. we walked up to the work site, just up the hill from the house i am living in, and i got to see all that has been accomplished. its amazing to think that that was just an empty plot of land a month ago. now, thanks to Gods grace and some determined people, the foundation and the walls are completed, and the roof will be going up soon. God is gracious and has brought in some more funds which will allow construction of the roof to be completed, and possibly more after that. we will have to see.

tyler, irene, and i are in nairobe as i write this. its about an hour away from where we are living(at irene's sisters house). we are hanging out in an internet cafe for a bit while tyler sends a file back home. we just had a meal at a local restaurant, my first venture into kenyan food- fried tilapia and chipati. pretty awesome. we'll probably just walk around nairobe today and get a feel for the city.

we are talking about the month to come, and theres some pretty exciting stuff were figuring out. a couple of trips being debated, alot of work on the orphanage, and some time in uganda. like i said, its all in the works, and we will take it as it comes. i still know very little, but ive had a huge smile on my face every time i look around. God is at work here, im stoked to be a part of it, even if its just for a little while.

ill wrap it up. thank you so much for reading, for your prayers, and for being lovely. i wasnt expecting to update, so i promise ill have better, more thought out posts in the future. i just wanted to throw out a, hey, i got here, im alive. so, thats all this is. i miss you all, in a good way. but i wouldnt trade this.

oh, by the way, its cold here at night. what the heck?

peace and joy
jon

the hours before: prayer requests

its nine thirty on tuesday morning. im flying in a little less than seven hours. i think im finally getting nervous. my heart feels like its full of air, and its trying it best to get all that air out. i guess thats nervous, right?

it still hasnt hit me, the magnitude of this. and im not trying to say that somehow, what im doing is a big deal. its not, in the scope of things. and i firmly believe that each event and period in each persons life is just as important as the next. still ill be gone for a while, and i dont know what ill be doing, so with that in mind, im not nearly as nervous or anxious or excited as i should be. it hasnt hit me yet. but im sure it will.

goodbyes are always weird. and ive had my share of them. this weekend held more hugs and tears than i knew possible. i am grateful for each one- each embrace that will be separated by land and sea, every drop that falls from your eyes. i will miss these people more than i know, with all that i have i will miss them. i want you all to know that i love you.

before i leave i wanted to give some prayer requests. i covet your prayers.

while i am gone, pray for a receptive spirit. a big part of what i am doing is opening myself up by clearing my agenda, in hopes that God will lead me where He wants without myself getting in the way. it is easy to seek the safety of plans and organizations, and if that is where God has me then great, but i dont want to hide there. pray also for Gods guiding hand.

pray also that i would learn to abide is God. amidst the excitement and new experiences, i dont want to loose that connection with God or push Him aside. i want Him to be central, the vine from which i draw my strength. i know that without that connection, nothing i do will accomplish anything eternal.

third, pray for community, both home and abroad. i have come to appreciate and rely on Christian community to live my life. when i leave here, i leave that as well. the situation i am going to is full of new people and new situations, and in order to have that community, i have to start each relationship new. pray for me as i seek out community, and for a while, seek God without it. also pray for the community i am leaving here, that they would seek God with all their hearts, and that they would love each other fearlessly.

i will close it here. i am leaving shortly for the city and the airport. here we go.


all my love
jon

down to brass tacs: logistics

my intent with this post is to give those less familiar with the details of my travels an up to date look at what im doing, and what i know. those who are familiar will realize that i dont know much, but ill do my best to paint the picture.

about a month ago, i decided to drop ties and make this dream a reality. the circumstances surrounding that decision, ill save for another time. i dont want these to be too tiresome to read. suffice it to say that its been a long time coming and the roads were open this time around. i suppose not being in school and the lack of a job will do that- open roads for dreams.

since that decision, ive been in contact with a number of non profits and organizations in northern kenya/southern uganda, trying to make connections and figure out what the next four months will look like. each connection has been profitable and given me a better idea of what to expect, but ultimately, each one was accompanied by a catch. i have yet to find someone that lines up with my goals, theology, and desire for my time. though, there are a lot of amazing things happening through those same people that i am very excited to partner with.

ultimately, i am going to be working with and serving along side many of those people that i have been talking to, but not exclusively. i do not want to be confined to a certain location or organization. sitting here, a few thousand miles away, it doesnt make sense to me to plan out all my time and be held to that. i would much rather figure it out day by day while i am there, relying on God to bring the people and relationships into my life that will show me what i need to see. im excited for that. i want to rely on God and His people to shape my time there, rather than hiding in the safeguards of organizations and plans.

sorry, im getting longwinded again, and my intention was to keep this short. so here is what i know.

i am leaving Chicago on tuesday, the eighth. thats in five days. im connecting in amsterdam, and from there, straight to nairobe, kenya. its a long flight, and i wont reach kenya till evening the next day. thats a little baffling in itself. my friend, tyler sjostrom, will be meeting me at the airport. he has been in kenya and uganda for the last few months overseeing a building project with a non profit that he and some friends started- venture corps. i will be writing a lot about them in the posts to come- theyre my main contact down there.

tyler will be taking me to building site where we will be staying with a woman named irene. she is a kenyan who will be running the orphanage(the building project is an orphange). more on irene later. we will be staying with her while in kenya. tyler will be with me for a month after i arrive, showing me the ropes, introducing me to people, seeing God's creation.

after that point, it gets really hazy. i hope to spend some time in kampala, uganda. tyler will be flying out of that area, and we will most likely be there together for a few weeks. same deal, going on relationships. tyler has a lot of connections there, and im excited to meet them.

anyway, ill end it there. my hopes and dreams for this trip, all the might be plans, all the could be opportunities, would fill a book. so, what ive shared is what i know. or, what seems to be concrete at this point. im sure God will work as He will, and i just want to be open to that.

i will be flying home just before new years, and just in time for the most brutal part of winter. in case i forget, mom and dad, please bring me a coat! oh, and im up to date on inoculations, and im getting my visas when i get to the countries (i guess african nations are a lot more laid back with that then we are). thats it, thanks for reading, i really do appreciate it. ill be throwing up some prayer requests soon.

all my love

jon

the week before:preparations

as i lay in bed last night, i realized how precious little time i have left here among my friends and family, the community i have come to hold so dear. that time is already so full with promised cups of coffee and last chances for goodbyes. its a little overwhelming, to be honest.

my heart, as of late, has been torn in two directions. on the one hand, i do desire to have those last meetings- to carve time out of my life to catch up and pour into the lives of the people that have been meaningful to me, though many i have lost touch with. i guess sometimes, for me especially, it takes the coming of a long absence to remember all the people that have touched my life. that is unfortunate, as i am not afforded nearly the hours in a day, nor the days left on this soil to possibly have those times with each person i would wish.

on the other hand, i very much wish to continue life as normal. i have found something in the last few months here to be coveted. the group of people that God has brought into my life as of late have shaped me, grown me, changed me, more than i could have imagined, more indeed than i even know. it is to these people, this odd assortment, that i owe the anxiety of separation so new to me.

in the past, i have always looked forward to leaving, seen my trips and undertakings as a chance of escape, adventure, something to break the mundane droll of the every day, knowing that the relations i have at the time of leaving will still be there when i return, to be picked back up. today, as i sit in my third floor chicago bedroom, amidst half packed boxes of belongings and skeletons of bikes i promise myself ill work on, it haunts me to think i will be leaving all this until january. i can rationalize and say four months is not that long, and it isnt, and maybe i am being melodramatic. nonetheless, the absence of these people in my life and my life in theirs, the knowledge that i am going to miss on all that passes between them in the months to come pulls me from dreams of a dark continent and adventure, back into today, and what a precious thing i have here.

i thank God for that. it is a gift beyond measure to have something that holds you where you are, something that you regret leaving, roots in people that go deep and bring life.

i havent blogged in a while-whatever that means. so i apologize if much of what i said here was incoherent ramblings. it was more that i needed to say it, or write it, or whatever. it was more for me, so i can know it. im sure most people who will read this are looking for updates, and ill do my best at that. hopefully this will be something profitable. as i said, im pretty rusty.

if this is the first youve heard of my trip, let me say, i havent left yet. as the title suggests, i have a week before i fly halfway around the world. ill go more into detail on what i am doing specifically in the next post in a few days. suffice it to say for now that i dont really know. i want to be open to wherever the wind blows, however the spirit moves, and all that entails.

if you made it to this point, let me congratulate you. that was quite long. i do very much appreciate your curiosity in regards to my life. i promise that future posts will be more informative, but right now ive got more going on in my head than is physically happening.

ill close with this- to those people who i mentioned, and you know who you are, i love you all very much. and i will miss you with all my heart.

to those who have made the effort to see me in my final weeks- thank you as well. you are meaningful and beautiful. thank you for taking the time to see me.

to those whose lives, mine or yours, would not permit a face to face conversation- i am sorry that i have so little time. hopefully, our paths will cross again in another time

to those interested readers- thank you for your interest. this will be the best way to stay updated on whats going on with me in the next few months of my life. as i said, i hope it is profitable

i wish you each peace and joy in the months to come.

all my love

jon