im flying home to chicago tomorrow. i cant believe it. now that its time, i think im ready. this time spent in kenya has been great for processing, winding down, and just enjoying people. i am in a state of rest, ive accomplished all that i can, ive done my best, and i am completely satisfied. i know that what i have done here is not done by me, but is the work of God. and in that knowledge, i have comfort and strength.
i spent a few days at the coast, in mumbassa. i had planned on taking the trip just by myself, and using the time to reflect on all that has happened, really process through my time in africa, etc. i didnt have contacts there, i wasnt meeting anyone, and i was traveling alone. i didnt know where i would stay, what i would do, i didnt know anything. it was totally in God's hands- sort of a compressed, intensified version of what ive wanted for this whole time in africa- complete reliance on God.
it was incredible seeing God's provision for me, straight away off the bus. i arrived at 5:30 in the morning, and this guy came up and just started talking to me, asking me if i needed help, if he could show me around, whatever i needed. he was extremely nice, and helped me get my barrings. after that, it was one connection after another. i just kept running into people, getting into conversations, sharing a bit of my life, a bit of theirs. i had some time to just sit at the beach by myself and think about how great God is. and when i was exhausted and needed a place to rest, this girl came up to me and offered that i stay at her place with her and her two brothers. it was unheard of- they fed me, they let me rest at their house, they showed Christs love to me, a perfect stranger. finally, i got a phone call from a friend of a friend of a friend who heard i was in mumbassa and was wondering if i needed a place to sleep. so God even took care of my lodging. it was incredible, and i was left in awe of His provision, how He cares for each little detail. pretty humbling.
next i went to machakos. we have a project there, another childrens home. this one was recognized as one of the best in kenya. it was really cool spending time there, talking to the director, getting ideas of how the JCM project will run after it is finished. i loved being there, just playing with the kids, loving on them, serving in the kitchen, really however i could help. i learned to make chapati(best food ever), so ill for sure be trying that out when i get home. i stayed with a couple, professors from the local seminary there. that was such a blessing in itself, just being around them, dialoguing with them, sharing ideas and dreams. they are such people of God. when you spend time around people like that, no matter what you do during that time, you come away blessed. really just wonderful.
i got some great news on christmas regarding dennis. apparently ronnie found him on the streets a couple days before, and was able to take him down to the home in jinja! that was such an amazing feeling, knowing that he is safe and off the streets, that he has a place to belong, to call home. knowing that i can see him when he comes back! that he is gonna go to school and sleep in a bed at night! ah, it was so wonderful! when i heard that, i had such a sense of joy flood my heart. what an amazing christmas gift!
so now im back in nairobe after travelling around kenya. like i said, i fly tomorrow, and ive been using these last days trying to see everyone that has touched my life and say goodbye. its hard to think that ill be leaving, that after tomorrow night, i wont be seeing this place for a while. its my sincere hope to come back in may. irene will be returning then, and we are going to try and put together a team to come and finish the kids home. what an incredible day that will be!
these people, these relationships that i have made, they call me back. they always will. already i hear their voice. i will never be free of this place, it will haunt my thoughts and my heart as long as i have breath. i will hear their calling, and turn my eyes to where it comes. someday i will return. i wont forget you, street children, orphans, those abused and neglected. i wont forget you, family, friends, loved ones. i will return to tread your red soil beneath my feet once more. keep yourselves well until again we meet.
all my love
Monday, December 28
Friday, December 18
day one hundred: parting ways
wow. i cant believe its been one hundred days. looking back, i am amazed at all the time that has past. when i started, it seemed like four months was so long, like i would never reach the end of it. now that end is almost come, and im wondering what happened to all the days in between.
im back in kenya now. i arrived yesterday after traveling through the night. i didnt get much sleep, but its to be expected. i think i always have to be tired when i first get to kenya : ) its good being back. i am staying at the same house as before, but much has changed. theres only one other person here now, mary, as opposed to the multitude of family and life that busted forth from it at my last visit. its nice though, the smallness of it. itll be a lot of meetings one on one with people. im looking forward to that, to deepening the relationships ive started.
i didnt realize last time how huge nairobe is. i was just wandering around for an hour, trying to find the spot where we used to use internet. i dont know how, except that God helped me, but im here now. makes me miss tyler and irene. i hope theyre having fun in the cold!
ill be traveling to mumbassa, the coast, in a day or two. looking forward to some time to rest and reflect on all ive seen and experienced. sometimes, things happen so fast or so relentlessly, that i dont have time to pause and see how its effecting me. that self reflection, and being intentional in taking time to do it, has been so influential for me. im learning a lot about myself, about God, and about this world. not to mention that its been forever since ive been on a surf board : )
already i miss kampala. it was with a heavy heart that i said goodbye to friends and family- the people who made my time there so memorable. it was especially sad that i didnt get to say goodbye to my street kid friends. there has been a lot of football lately, and that usually equals empty streets. we went a couple of times my last few days, but no luck.
in regards to steven and dennis, im afraid thats a disappointing ending as well. i met a girl named sarah. she lives in jinja, and runs a kids home specifically for street kids. i figured that couldnt just be coincidence, so we went to pay her a visit. her home is great. there are fifteen former street kids in her care. they are all well fed, in school, and very happy. i could tell just from the feel of the place that it was a very happy and loving home. we spent the day with them, playing football and just hanging out.
that is exactly the kind of place i would love to get steven and dennis into. you cant just put street kids into a regular kids home/orphanage. most times, there is trouble with them running away and causing trouble, just not getting along well with the other kids. street kids are a different breed. they are used to complete freedom, not having any rules, doing whatever they want. sometimes, there are drug addictions to deal with as well.
any home that is going to care for street kids has to be special. they require so much individual attention. they need to feel loved, cared for, wanted. they need to be comfortable as well with the other people there. often, counseling services are needed. i could tell that sara's home would be so great to get the kids into. so we asked her
she was enthusiastic, but needed to check with her director back in canada (i dont remember what the NGO's called). he was enthusiastic as well, but wanted to make sure that the kids wanted to study- they had a kid run away about a year ago because he didnt want to be in school, it was heart breaking for them.
so we went out and found the kids, told them about the home, and what was expected if they were gonna live there, and they were both excited. so we agreed to meet monday morning to take them down to jinja, while we waited for final confirmation from the NGO director. after scrambling around and pushing, probably harder than i should have(keep in mind this is over a period of two or three days), we got final clearance and went monday to meet them.
but they were a no show. both of them. we rode up to the meeting place and our hearts dropped. we were a little late, but not late enough to have missed them. at least, i dont think so. i dont know what happened. its still a mystery to me. they werent on the streets when we went out to look, as i said, they ususally go for football if there is a match. so i havent seen them in about a week, and i have no idea what happened.
just before i left(my bus left at midnight) we went walking around, looking for them, hoping that id at least get to say goodbye, but no good.
though im so sad about this all, i know its gonna be fine. we got the green light from the kids home, so all thats left is finding steven and dennis. as long as they still want to go, we can get them there. ronnie will continue to look for them, and my hopes are with him. i think, maybe, it just wasnt meant for me to take them to the home. i dont need to be the one that finishes it. although i would love to have been able to, ive learned so much trust and patience through this.
please continue to join me in prayer for these two kids. it would a dream come true if we got them in a home before Christmas!
as for leaving, that was no easy task. i put if off for about a month, slowly saying my goodbyes and tying up loose ends over that period. still, when the day came and i was packing up, it was with a heavy heart. i almost burst into tears when i was holding eddy for the last time, just before he went to sleep. it reminded me of when we first got him, he would just sit on our laps at night until he fell asleep. now, as then, i am reminded what a blessing he is, how God is so merciful.
when i was packing, he told me that he wanted to come too, to wait for him. he said he could fit in one of the bags, that he would climb inside, and come with. man, that broke my heart. if he only knew how much i would love him to be able to come with. im not sure when ill be coming back. but i know i will, and soon. if for no other reason than to see him again. of course, there is so much more calling me back. i think itll be sooner rather than later.
well, its all wrapping up. i cant say i would trade a moment.
all my love
im back in kenya now. i arrived yesterday after traveling through the night. i didnt get much sleep, but its to be expected. i think i always have to be tired when i first get to kenya : ) its good being back. i am staying at the same house as before, but much has changed. theres only one other person here now, mary, as opposed to the multitude of family and life that busted forth from it at my last visit. its nice though, the smallness of it. itll be a lot of meetings one on one with people. im looking forward to that, to deepening the relationships ive started.
i didnt realize last time how huge nairobe is. i was just wandering around for an hour, trying to find the spot where we used to use internet. i dont know how, except that God helped me, but im here now. makes me miss tyler and irene. i hope theyre having fun in the cold!
ill be traveling to mumbassa, the coast, in a day or two. looking forward to some time to rest and reflect on all ive seen and experienced. sometimes, things happen so fast or so relentlessly, that i dont have time to pause and see how its effecting me. that self reflection, and being intentional in taking time to do it, has been so influential for me. im learning a lot about myself, about God, and about this world. not to mention that its been forever since ive been on a surf board : )
already i miss kampala. it was with a heavy heart that i said goodbye to friends and family- the people who made my time there so memorable. it was especially sad that i didnt get to say goodbye to my street kid friends. there has been a lot of football lately, and that usually equals empty streets. we went a couple of times my last few days, but no luck.
in regards to steven and dennis, im afraid thats a disappointing ending as well. i met a girl named sarah. she lives in jinja, and runs a kids home specifically for street kids. i figured that couldnt just be coincidence, so we went to pay her a visit. her home is great. there are fifteen former street kids in her care. they are all well fed, in school, and very happy. i could tell just from the feel of the place that it was a very happy and loving home. we spent the day with them, playing football and just hanging out.
that is exactly the kind of place i would love to get steven and dennis into. you cant just put street kids into a regular kids home/orphanage. most times, there is trouble with them running away and causing trouble, just not getting along well with the other kids. street kids are a different breed. they are used to complete freedom, not having any rules, doing whatever they want. sometimes, there are drug addictions to deal with as well.
any home that is going to care for street kids has to be special. they require so much individual attention. they need to feel loved, cared for, wanted. they need to be comfortable as well with the other people there. often, counseling services are needed. i could tell that sara's home would be so great to get the kids into. so we asked her
she was enthusiastic, but needed to check with her director back in canada (i dont remember what the NGO's called). he was enthusiastic as well, but wanted to make sure that the kids wanted to study- they had a kid run away about a year ago because he didnt want to be in school, it was heart breaking for them.
so we went out and found the kids, told them about the home, and what was expected if they were gonna live there, and they were both excited. so we agreed to meet monday morning to take them down to jinja, while we waited for final confirmation from the NGO director. after scrambling around and pushing, probably harder than i should have(keep in mind this is over a period of two or three days), we got final clearance and went monday to meet them.
but they were a no show. both of them. we rode up to the meeting place and our hearts dropped. we were a little late, but not late enough to have missed them. at least, i dont think so. i dont know what happened. its still a mystery to me. they werent on the streets when we went out to look, as i said, they ususally go for football if there is a match. so i havent seen them in about a week, and i have no idea what happened.
just before i left(my bus left at midnight) we went walking around, looking for them, hoping that id at least get to say goodbye, but no good.
though im so sad about this all, i know its gonna be fine. we got the green light from the kids home, so all thats left is finding steven and dennis. as long as they still want to go, we can get them there. ronnie will continue to look for them, and my hopes are with him. i think, maybe, it just wasnt meant for me to take them to the home. i dont need to be the one that finishes it. although i would love to have been able to, ive learned so much trust and patience through this.
please continue to join me in prayer for these two kids. it would a dream come true if we got them in a home before Christmas!
as for leaving, that was no easy task. i put if off for about a month, slowly saying my goodbyes and tying up loose ends over that period. still, when the day came and i was packing up, it was with a heavy heart. i almost burst into tears when i was holding eddy for the last time, just before he went to sleep. it reminded me of when we first got him, he would just sit on our laps at night until he fell asleep. now, as then, i am reminded what a blessing he is, how God is so merciful.
when i was packing, he told me that he wanted to come too, to wait for him. he said he could fit in one of the bags, that he would climb inside, and come with. man, that broke my heart. if he only knew how much i would love him to be able to come with. im not sure when ill be coming back. but i know i will, and soon. if for no other reason than to see him again. of course, there is so much more calling me back. i think itll be sooner rather than later.
well, its all wrapping up. i cant say i would trade a moment.
all my love
Saturday, December 5
day eighty seven: food and stories
as my time here draws to an end, i find it more and more difficult to leave. any day now, i will be making the trek back to kenya. but as the day draws nearer, i find myself postponing it. for the last few weeks, whenever someone asks when im leaving, ill respond, "in a week or two." its been a week or two for three weeks now i think : ) theres just a lot still drawing me here, so much i still want to wrap up before i call it quits. and im in no rush to leave the people and places ive grown so attatched to these last months.
lately, it has been the street kids that have my heart. there are two in particular that weve become close to, dennis and stephen. every time i think im ready to go, their faces pain my heart. i want to be able to do more for them, something that will actually make a difference.
i realize that i have written very little about what we do with the street kids, but it is those late nights on the streets of kampala that have been my favorite times here. we dont do much, just a small meal and swapping of stories once or twice a week. we try and find out where the kids are from, how long theyve been there, if they have families. really, whatever they want to talk about. more often then not, i find myself talking about football clubs, since my limited Luganda prevents me from doing much else(btw, ive become an avid football fan). still these small encounters, and the faces and stories of these kids, have grabbed my heart over and over again.
as i said, there are two in particular that we see almost every time, dennis and stephen. dennis was among the first street kids i met. if you remember, there were three, and though we looked for the other two, dennis was the only to make continued appearances. i met him two months ago, which means he's not lived on the streets for five. its amazing what even two months can do, cause when i first met him, i thought that he was so new. now, five months seems like an eternity.
dennis is from jinja and he lived with his father and step mom. he was sent one day to get his hair cut at his dad's salon, but upon arriving he found the extra chair to be broken, and a long line of clients. he waited patiently all day, finally getting it cut around seven. since there was a football game(football is soccer) on at eight, he decided to go to it. upon returning home past ten, he found his parents irate, and fed up with him.
at this point, they told him to leave. just, go. they didnt care where, but they were sick of him. so they sent him away. and thats where he went, away. he started walking, and two days later, arrived in kampala to start his life as a street kid.
like so many of their stories, his is heartbreaking, and probably a mixed version of actual events and ones embellished on. we dont know the state of his home prior to his being kicked out. we dont know if his parents were abusive before. we dont know what is true, and what is shrouded. and none of it really matters. what we do know is that he wont go back, never wants to see them again, and harbours an anger at his parents from being abandoned that is not soon to pass.
dennis is an awesome kid, with an amazing smile. as i said, we see him every time we go, and i love it. his smile brightens my night, and i look forward to seeing him. i just gave him a pair of shoes that i brought to replace his stolen ones. he promised to tie them tight and get a sack to sleep in so no one steals these : )
we just met steven a month ago or so, maybe even less. he doesnt sleep where the other kids we know do, and is a bit of a wanderer. but almost every time, we run into him in one place or another. the first time i saw him, he was singing to no one on a street corner, eating a muffin. i faked taking a bite of the muffin to mess with him, and he responded with "yes, you take! 100 shillings!" after which he followed us for the rest of the night.
steven is from kitale, which is all the way in the south west of the country, an eternity from kampala. he is a true orphan- both his father and mother died, i think of HIV/AIDS(but im not sure). he spent some time living with an aunt of grandma, but it soon became aparent that they couldnt support him. as is the case in many families torn by HIV/AIDS, the buren that those it takes leave is too great for those it spares. he story is a little muddied as to the how, but he hopped a bus to kampala about a year ago, and has been there ever since.
steven is rediculous and eccentric. i have a video on my camera that ill post when i get back of him dancing. he's a little hesitent at first, but when he gets into it, theres no stopping him. he's so smart. he needed a sweatshirt on a cold night, so he went to owino(the huge market) and sang for the vendors, who paid him with a nice, warm sweater. i couldnt believe it when i saw him, he looked so sharp!
the day after thanksgiving there was a huge event called worship night. it is put on by the church i go to, they rent out a soccer stadium, and spend all night with whoever comes praising God. it was a powerful experience, relying on God for strength over twelve hours, and joining in praise to him with over 50,000 Ugandan brothers and sisters! the things i experienced and how God moved i can share another time, if you want. but, right in the middle of the night, at maybe two in the morning, i feel this tapping on my leg, and look down to see Stevens smiling face! i couldnt believe it! its incredible to think that he could have found me amongst a see of so many faces. we had a great time singing and dancing until he fell asleep, and i thanked God for bringing him into my life.
the short of the matter is this. these kids have alwas pulled my heart in a unique way, but that night God laid a special burden for them on me. im still trying to figure out what exactly that looks like, how exactly i can help, what i can do that is more than food and stories every once in a while. i want to do something lasting, something that will make a real difference. even if, for now, its just for the one or two that ive mentioned here. so i ask that you join me in prayer, beseeching the ear of the Almighty for guidance and imagination in this, and courage to undertake whatever He shows me. i am hesitant to leave without it.
before i sign off, let me share a few praises. last week, i had the opportunity to fellowship again with my friend irene, who i worked with in kenya. she had come to uganda with the purpose of attending the worship night, and catching up with some old friends. for the week she was here, we reconected and shared what God has been doing in our lives, and i thank God for the opportunity. she went back to kenya on saturday, a week early, because she received a call from the canadian embassy requesting her presence. she has been waiting to hear back about a canadian visa that would let her study there this coming semester. God is good, she got the visa, and is now finalizing plans! this after over two months of waiting, and beginning to think it wasnt happening. but God works all things in His timing. praise God!
the kids at mercy ministries(the kids home) are off to spend Christmas with relatives, most at least. but not before a final goodbye camp. monday and tuesday this week they spent at a beach in entebbe. i joined them along with the volunteers at Come Lets Dance on tuesday for an awesome day of surf and sun and soccer, and a great farewell to kids who have touched my heart with their unconditional love, bright eyes, and clinging hands. there was even a baptism, Christmas gifts handed out by none other than pastor wilson bugembe, and an adventure with a pair of camels to boot! ill maybe write more on that later. if i remember to.
eddy is doing better than ever. it seems like every day he gets stronger, braver, more confident. he is trying new things, making so many friends, and learning not to be a cry baby : ) im amazed at what God has done, transforming this little pile of skin and bones, on the verge of starvation, into the happy, healthy little boy i see with my own two eyes every day. sometimes, i double take when i see him. he's got a fatty little belly, an unending smile, and he just started giving me kisses. can i say it enough? God is good!!!
waiting on Him
jon
lately, it has been the street kids that have my heart. there are two in particular that weve become close to, dennis and stephen. every time i think im ready to go, their faces pain my heart. i want to be able to do more for them, something that will actually make a difference.
i realize that i have written very little about what we do with the street kids, but it is those late nights on the streets of kampala that have been my favorite times here. we dont do much, just a small meal and swapping of stories once or twice a week. we try and find out where the kids are from, how long theyve been there, if they have families. really, whatever they want to talk about. more often then not, i find myself talking about football clubs, since my limited Luganda prevents me from doing much else(btw, ive become an avid football fan). still these small encounters, and the faces and stories of these kids, have grabbed my heart over and over again.
as i said, there are two in particular that we see almost every time, dennis and stephen. dennis was among the first street kids i met. if you remember, there were three, and though we looked for the other two, dennis was the only to make continued appearances. i met him two months ago, which means he's not lived on the streets for five. its amazing what even two months can do, cause when i first met him, i thought that he was so new. now, five months seems like an eternity.
dennis is from jinja and he lived with his father and step mom. he was sent one day to get his hair cut at his dad's salon, but upon arriving he found the extra chair to be broken, and a long line of clients. he waited patiently all day, finally getting it cut around seven. since there was a football game(football is soccer) on at eight, he decided to go to it. upon returning home past ten, he found his parents irate, and fed up with him.
at this point, they told him to leave. just, go. they didnt care where, but they were sick of him. so they sent him away. and thats where he went, away. he started walking, and two days later, arrived in kampala to start his life as a street kid.
like so many of their stories, his is heartbreaking, and probably a mixed version of actual events and ones embellished on. we dont know the state of his home prior to his being kicked out. we dont know if his parents were abusive before. we dont know what is true, and what is shrouded. and none of it really matters. what we do know is that he wont go back, never wants to see them again, and harbours an anger at his parents from being abandoned that is not soon to pass.
dennis is an awesome kid, with an amazing smile. as i said, we see him every time we go, and i love it. his smile brightens my night, and i look forward to seeing him. i just gave him a pair of shoes that i brought to replace his stolen ones. he promised to tie them tight and get a sack to sleep in so no one steals these : )
we just met steven a month ago or so, maybe even less. he doesnt sleep where the other kids we know do, and is a bit of a wanderer. but almost every time, we run into him in one place or another. the first time i saw him, he was singing to no one on a street corner, eating a muffin. i faked taking a bite of the muffin to mess with him, and he responded with "yes, you take! 100 shillings!" after which he followed us for the rest of the night.
steven is from kitale, which is all the way in the south west of the country, an eternity from kampala. he is a true orphan- both his father and mother died, i think of HIV/AIDS(but im not sure). he spent some time living with an aunt of grandma, but it soon became aparent that they couldnt support him. as is the case in many families torn by HIV/AIDS, the buren that those it takes leave is too great for those it spares. he story is a little muddied as to the how, but he hopped a bus to kampala about a year ago, and has been there ever since.
steven is rediculous and eccentric. i have a video on my camera that ill post when i get back of him dancing. he's a little hesitent at first, but when he gets into it, theres no stopping him. he's so smart. he needed a sweatshirt on a cold night, so he went to owino(the huge market) and sang for the vendors, who paid him with a nice, warm sweater. i couldnt believe it when i saw him, he looked so sharp!
the day after thanksgiving there was a huge event called worship night. it is put on by the church i go to, they rent out a soccer stadium, and spend all night with whoever comes praising God. it was a powerful experience, relying on God for strength over twelve hours, and joining in praise to him with over 50,000 Ugandan brothers and sisters! the things i experienced and how God moved i can share another time, if you want. but, right in the middle of the night, at maybe two in the morning, i feel this tapping on my leg, and look down to see Stevens smiling face! i couldnt believe it! its incredible to think that he could have found me amongst a see of so many faces. we had a great time singing and dancing until he fell asleep, and i thanked God for bringing him into my life.
the short of the matter is this. these kids have alwas pulled my heart in a unique way, but that night God laid a special burden for them on me. im still trying to figure out what exactly that looks like, how exactly i can help, what i can do that is more than food and stories every once in a while. i want to do something lasting, something that will make a real difference. even if, for now, its just for the one or two that ive mentioned here. so i ask that you join me in prayer, beseeching the ear of the Almighty for guidance and imagination in this, and courage to undertake whatever He shows me. i am hesitant to leave without it.
before i sign off, let me share a few praises. last week, i had the opportunity to fellowship again with my friend irene, who i worked with in kenya. she had come to uganda with the purpose of attending the worship night, and catching up with some old friends. for the week she was here, we reconected and shared what God has been doing in our lives, and i thank God for the opportunity. she went back to kenya on saturday, a week early, because she received a call from the canadian embassy requesting her presence. she has been waiting to hear back about a canadian visa that would let her study there this coming semester. God is good, she got the visa, and is now finalizing plans! this after over two months of waiting, and beginning to think it wasnt happening. but God works all things in His timing. praise God!
the kids at mercy ministries(the kids home) are off to spend Christmas with relatives, most at least. but not before a final goodbye camp. monday and tuesday this week they spent at a beach in entebbe. i joined them along with the volunteers at Come Lets Dance on tuesday for an awesome day of surf and sun and soccer, and a great farewell to kids who have touched my heart with their unconditional love, bright eyes, and clinging hands. there was even a baptism, Christmas gifts handed out by none other than pastor wilson bugembe, and an adventure with a pair of camels to boot! ill maybe write more on that later. if i remember to.
eddy is doing better than ever. it seems like every day he gets stronger, braver, more confident. he is trying new things, making so many friends, and learning not to be a cry baby : ) im amazed at what God has done, transforming this little pile of skin and bones, on the verge of starvation, into the happy, healthy little boy i see with my own two eyes every day. sometimes, i double take when i see him. he's got a fatty little belly, an unending smile, and he just started giving me kisses. can i say it enough? God is good!!!
waiting on Him
jon
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